Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Response to "The Things They Carried"

I thoroughly enjoyed Tim O’ Brien’s “The Things They Carried.” It actually took me midway through the short story to realize that the title was reflected in what the entire story was about. Also, most of the new paragraphs started with “the things they carried” or “what they carried.” O’ Brien describes physical things that soldiers in Vietnam carried: bug spray, flash lights, certain guns, etc. He goes into intricate detail describing the weight of them; to me, this was because he was showing the physical weight of the items- which seems heavy. However, he uses these things to relate to the emotional and mental burden the soldiers were carrying (to me at least)- which was a far heavier burden. Even the main character struggles with first, his unrequited love for Martha, and then the death of one of his men because of that distracting love. I noticed the repetition of the death of Ted Lavender. It wasn’t until the end of the story that the death is described. I like how the entire story is shaped by this one man’s death, but the reader doesn’t get the importance of it until the end. The Lieutenant mentions this because his life is shaped around his biggest failure. I also was having a hard time understanding why the speaker of the story kept mentioning the virginity of Martha. However, I liked the voice- third person omniscient. He knew the thoughts and feelings of the main character, but remained detached, almost as an onlooker into a memory. However, the language mirrored how the soldiers and main character acted. I especially liked the characterization: the big, muscleman, the worried, manic pill-popper, and the love-struck young lieutenant. The main character is so consumed by his love for Martha that it is almost stifling. The story has the same affect for the reader… the reader is bombarded by thoughts of her. Overall, “The Things They Carried” was very powerful to me- I felt as though it was simple, but placed the reader into a different world- which is what the main character had to learn that he was in.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Response to "The Race"


“The Race” surprised me a bit. From the title, I imagined the poem being about a race, which I am almost positive it is. However, it was not explicitly said- another aspect I liked. When I read the title, I immediately went back to my high school track and field days. The first line solidified my memories for me. The first image is a very powerful one; I can remember myself getting more and more frightened before a race, and before long I found it hard to swallow because of the knot in my throat. The poet accurately describes this with the balloon image. I got a bit confused in the second stanza. The poet talks about exhaustion in the character’s legs; however, the next line says “Wearing a coat of sweat.” Are the legs wearing a coat of sweat? Is the exhaustion wearing the coat? Is the racer? Perhaps some clarification on the subject of the second line would help the confusion. I also might use a different word than “belief” for the image the poet is trying to convey in the third stanza. Belief about what? Doubts will be battled by self-assurance or confidence, but belief is a bit vague to me. Also, “toothy grin” sounds a bit cliché to me. However, I loved the poem overall, especially the final line. I can see a winner of a race, shouting and waving at the audience. In fact, I have seen it-and picture exactly that when I read the last line.

Response to "Lucy"

I really enjoyed “Lucy.” The first thing I recognized when I read the poem was the second line “And he cannot stand it.” Immediately the reader senses the relationship between the two characters, if not already familiar with the Peanuts comic strip. Saying that, I think the strongest aspect of this poem is that one can completely understand everything going on, the relationship mentioned, and the thoughts of the characters without ever having seen or read the comic. The ending stanza is very powerful, and funny. “And boys don’t concern themselves with saucepans/Boys just fret about girls like Lucy.” The reader really does get the sense of how pushy and bossy the character Lucy is. I especially like the fact that the author repeats Lucy and her saucepans. The twelfth line, personally, was too long. Most of the lines stay around the same length; however, when I first looked at this poem, that’s the line my eyes first went to. I understand and enjoy the simile, but if there is any way to cut this line down a bit, I would do it. The line loses power by going on as long as it does. I didn’t quite understand the line “her mind seizing notes.” As the reader, I’m not quite sure what the poet was going for here. Perhaps a bit clearer? Does the first line of the last stanza need punctuation? I’m not sure, but the second line is a whole sentence.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Response to "Disenchanted"

“Disenchanted” does a splendid job of personifying Poetry. Not only is Poetry capitalized (as to make it a proper noun, therefore personifying it), but also is given verbs to personify the word. For example, Poetry doesn’t literally drop or loom. Also, I like the pessimistic tone of the poem. Normally people portray poetry as this great writing form. Here, the poet talks about the dark side of poetry and how it can, in fact, turn on you. I understood the idea of frustration really well by the stubbornness of the ink to leave the pen; however, failure travels up the pen to the writer. This view of poetry seems more realistic than usual descriptions. For the reader, it is easy to understand the failures and frustrations of trying to write poetry. Also, the description of the color of a sun setting over the horizon is very vivid imagery. I really don’t fully understand the “drops its spell” line. Perhaps the poet could go more into depth about the spell or what it accomplishes to make the wastebasket spill over. Again, as the reader, I am left asking “What?” I also did not understand the use of the word “unmagic.” Was it to convey how rugged poetry can be sometimes? I know the usual idea of poetry is that it is magical, perhaps this word was used to upset those usual ideas.

Response to "Whistle while you work"

“Whistle while you work” has a nice rhythm to it; this aspect of the poem was the first noticeable to me. The stresses seem a bit iambic pentameter-esque, which always gives a poem a nice sound. I like the sound “e” sound in the lines three and four. I have to say, the whole poem confuses me a bit. I’m not exactly sure what the poem is “getting at.” The second characteristic of the poem I recognized was the end rhyme, which sounded a bit elementary to me. However, I did enjoy the end rhyme in the last lines of both stanzas. I felt as though that tied the poem together quite nicely. The line “when only days will suffice” is the most confusing line for me. Days will suffice for what? I feel as though the poet could have gone into more detail about what the days will suffice for, as well as a couple of other instances in the poem. The word “inhibit” seems forced just to create an end rhyme in the second line. Also, the line “Their meaning lessens/with every session” confuses me. What exactly is a session? Is it a particular time period or a particular sitting? I guess I’m a little confused on the vague language of this word and suffice. These words aren’t seen very often, but I’m not sure they are used correctly because they leave the reader asking what they mean.

Response to "Drowning in Ink"

“Drowning in Ink” is one of the most powerful student poems I have read thus far. It opens up with words such as “stab,” and “dead.” Already, the reader gets a tone of violence and constant danger. The first description of writing on paper took me a few times to understand, but only because it was worded in a way I have never heard- and loved. I will say that I got chills numerous times reading this poem. The italicized sections create a nice break for thoughts as the writing process progresses. The writer is clear about her love and where he is. I finally felt a slight sense of what soldiers’ loved ones feel during deployments. Even the description of the writing process echoes the language of war: “cold missiles,” “unexpected attack,” and “toxic enemy.” I can even imagine myself laying on a bed, feeling lonely, listening to voicemails just to create a temporary high. However, some parts of the poem were confusing to me. The word “christens” makes me imagine a baptism, like the splashing of water (tears) upon a page. I don’t know if this is the effect the poet desired, because there are many different versions of christening. The poem’s progression is amazing- from first sitting down to write, to tears flowing as the speaker does so, and the final product, “tainted/with elegant black/streams of disruption.”

Workshop Poem


The Kiss

Two fleshy layers,
upon a  stark white
canvas. Warm as a bath
after a long day
in the garden, pruning
away the prickly, stubborn
plants of the past. Warm,
the double shot
of whiskey on a Friday
night. Closing in,
a lion fixated upon his prey.
The hot breath, a stifling
summer Alabama breeze.
There is no escape.
The heart makes its beat
known, a steady drum
backing a larger song.
Two fleshy layers,
upon a  stark white
canvas. A wolverine, closing,
finally, around his
helpless prey.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Parody of "Homage to My Hips"


these hips are tiny hips.
these hips create the perfect
hourglass figure, size
zero waist.
these hips do not swish when I walk
they do not make themselves known-
in fact, they barely exist at all
other than the protruding bone
(which looks big because my stomach
is so flat)
these hips easily fit into those
new designer jeans I saw on the catwalk.
these hips do not get attention, or get
commented on
(which is a compliment in itself).
these hips are miniscule.
these hips are miniature.
sometimes, they have been known
to look a little larger when I stop
the gym, so I go mount the
stationary bike and
spin him like a wheel