"Freeman"

“Freeman” is a very realistic short story about a man who is content with just getting by in life. Caleb’s life changes when he breaks free of his mediocrity to help his brother clean up a trailer park hit by a tornado. The reader can tell a noticeable difference in the character: at first, he regrets coming to help his brother, is bothered by the heat, etc. Toward the end of the story, however, Caleb takes a leadership position to find what could possibly be a dead body. A man later finds one, however, and Caleb’s life changes. To me, the best line of the story is the last one. After all he has seen and been through the past couple of days, the image of the trailer stands for everything: death, destruction, broken life. The last line of the story adds not only comic relief, but a realization by the main character. The back story of Caleb’s lack of motivation adds more emphasis on his initiative in the clean-up towards the end of the story. There were a few slight errors in the story. A couple of shift tenses occur; the story is written in the near past, but some verbs are in the present tense. The writer used “there” and “they” many times; I realize this might be unavoidable in some cases, but others can have more specific words to convey the same idea. The story had a good pace, I never got completely bored reading it and there was good progression leading up to the climax. I especially liked the daydream Caleb has of the sunlight illuminating the smiling face of a person rescued. This was cleverly paralleled at the end when the sunlight illuminates a decaying face. The parallel adds to the disgust and shock of finding the dead body. Well done.

"Nothing to Smile About"

Susan of “Nothing to Smile About” is a normal girl working her way through school. Her life is ordinary in many ways, and her friendship with her roommate Wanda needs repair. The main character changes after her roommate is raped and Susan must not only rescue her but also murder her rapist. I think the writer is trying to show how completely ordinary her life is to add shock to the rape scene in the last part of the story. The story’s rape scene gave me chills. The phone call and what was heard by Susan was terrifying. The writer did a great job of conveying the horror of this scene. I liked the ending- Susan offering Wanda a job as if to leave the reader knowing life has and will continue to change for the main characters. My biggest problem with this story is the buildup. I understand the writer trying to convey an ordinary life, but I was four pages in and had no idea where the story was going. The simply, choppy sentences threw me off and became hard to read. Also, the writer started many, many sentences with “it” and “so,” two words that writers should try not to use so much. She also used “so” in the sentences to convey causation. I did not like this. The diction used was not particularly interesting to read: most of the words were simple and used in everyday language. I would have liked to see more variety in sentence structure and word choice. This is a personal preference, but reading a story in present tense is harder for me to comprehend than the near past. I like the first person point of view; however, if this is the choice of the writer, she should not use words like “thought” and “wonder.” The reader already knows he or she is in your brain.

Response to "Tiny, Smiling Daddy"

“Tiny, Smiling Daddy” is a very emotionally-charged, semi-ambiguous story about the relationship between a father and his lesbian daughter. The reader understands the father’s disdain and outright anger toward his daughter for her rebellious teenage years and sexuality. Gaitskill waits until the end of the story, however, to tell the reader what the father actually says to his daughter: “You’re a lesbian? Fine… You mean nothing to me.” Throughout the story, the father has flashbacks and memories of his daughter. This creates the problem of only one point of view. We never get to hear Kitty’s side of the story to know if the father’s point of view is an accurate depiction of what happens. Kitty seems disrespectful and rebellious throughout the story, referring to her loving mother as a stupid bitch and not even having a relationship with her father. However, the reader does not know if she is acting out due to the father’s disgust toward his daughter. Gaitskill throws a wrench into the equation later in the story when the reader finds out the father’s words to his daughter. Finally, the reader can relate to and sympathize with Kitty. However, is it too late to change the opinion of the reader this far into the story? I did not like any of the characters, except maybe the mother. She was a nice, loving wife, always trying to make everybody happy. The father, in my opinion, was a prick (sorry, for lack of a better word). He hit his daughter and basically disowned her. He yelled at his wife for defending her daughter. He yells at Marsha again at the end of the story for being away all day. Perhaps she doesn’t want to be around his miserable butt all day? I think the dad is going through a mid-life crisis depression, with no reason for his life. I did not enjoy the third person limited point of view. I would have much rather known the thoughts of someone more appealing.

Response to "A Temporary Matter"

“A Temporary Matter” is a moving, realistic story about a couple torn apart by the loss of their child. When I began to read the story, I looked at what Professor Acevedo said: the story starts with an external conflict, then regresses to background story, then picks up again at the inciting incident. I literally never noticed this in any short stories I read; now that I pick up on it, I need to seriously revise the beginning of my short story. Anyway, the title and first sentence lead the reader to believe the “temporary matter” is the power going out for a couple of hours a night; however, I believe the “temporary matter” is the state the couple is in. I am led to believe that the couple ends up together by the end of the story, once again united by their pain- something they can both share and relate to each other with. This plot is all too realistic to me. Two of my cousins lost children (miscarriages, not still births) and their marriages were wrenched apart because of so. Both got divorced; the stress on them from that time was too much. I could see the numbness and distance between the two characters just as I did with my cousins. Without a child to unite them, and with the pain both of the characters go through, the couple fell apart and lost feeling for one another. However, I am a bit confused by the end of the story. Although I think the couple reunites, the husband tells the wife his biggest secret that he swore he would not tell her because he “still loved her then.” Well, he told her now. Either that means that he loves her enough to tell her his ultimate secret, and essentially unite them (while still showing he cared and was there for the child) or he does not love her and decides to tell her now. Maybe the husband believes enough time has passed after the incident. I believe the author put this line in here to let the reader decide if Shoba and Shukumar do end up together at the end.

Response to "Brownies"

ZZ Packer’s “Brownies” is a short story about the prejudices of race and the affect it has on people in the world. This story is under the topic “Conflict.” I could understand this for multiple reasons: there is conflict in the story (a very evident one, and smaller ones) and there is an underlying race issue observed. I guess I was a bit confused to begin with because I thought that our stories were not supposed to have an underlying “bigger issue.” However, I realize this is a real author with a true writing career- she can do what she wants. The most realistic aspect of the story, to me, were the little girls’ plots and attitudes. Little girls by nature are MEAN- greedy, coniving, and make fun of other girls. My favorite part of the whole story was the end. Finally, Daphne speaks, which leads to Laurel finally speaking. Upon being able to say the story of her father and the Mennonites aloud,  the main character comes to a realization- one she does not like. She “suddenly knew there was something mean in the world that [she] could not stop.” The final lines of this story grabbed me, even more so than the fact that Laurel’s girl scout troup bullied a learning disabled girl scout troop. The line “When you’ve been made to feel bad for so long, you jump at the chance to do it to others” perfectly describes the Black troop’s animosity for the White one. Although this line is said about the father/Mennonite story, the real application of this realization is to the hurtful actions toward the White troop. I think the main character finally understands this through the explanation of the story and feels even more down about the situation than she did before. This realization shows character growth for the main character. However, the background characters did not grow, just like “Sea Oak.” However, one could probably argue that Daphne grew, or perhaps she was just nice and quiet to begin with. She was respectful and cleaned up the troop’s bathroom, so her character might have stayed the same, too.

Response to "Sea Oak"

“Sea Oak” is one of the strangest stories I’ve ever read, aside from a Flannery O’Connor or William Faulkner story. This had the same grotesque characteristics: an aunt coming back from the dead, falling apart in pieces. Each of the characters is a bit odd and unbelievable; however, the situation they are in is very real. The speaker opens the story with a description of the restaurant/strip club Joysticks. He doesn’t exactly explain the physical characteristics, but the overall attitude of the employees and the essence of the establishment. Through relationships and dialogue with the employees and boss, the reader gets a sense of the sleazy setting. The speaker then describes his home, Sea Oak, as “not safe. There’s an ad hoc crackhouse in the laundry room and last week Min found some brass knuckles in the kiddie pool.” The description comes after a shooting at the apartment complex. Clearly, the complex is rundown and in disarray, much like each of these character’s lives- especially the main character. The setting gives birth to many depressing and almost unrealistic situations. Each instance of violence is magnified in this story: taking great detail in explaining the shows such as How My Child Died Violently. Also, the reader gets the sense of crushing isolation and hopelessness. The background characters do not much care about the shoddy life of the main character. Mr. Frendt, the boss, does not care about the loss of the main character’s aunt; he only cares about revenue. Lobton, the funeral parlor director, cares more about focusing on his muscles during the funeral process than his customers or the death of Bernie. Even Ma and Freddie do not care enough about the family to take care of them. The only character that seemingly cares for the family is Father Brian. I feel as though this is because there is some sort of religion in the story: the only caring character is a religious man. The “priest” hints Catholicism, which echoes Flannery O’Connor to me. Lastly, I like the touch of the career of the main character. One always hears the story of a woman stripping to make money for her family and can never crawl her way up from that low job in life. In this story, it’s switched. The main character is a hopeless man, using his body for money.