Parody of "Homage to My Hips"

these hips are tiny hips.

these hips create the perfect

hourglass figure, size

zero waist.

these hips do not swish when I walk

they do not make themselves known-

in fact, they barely exist at all

other than the protruding bone

(which looks big because my stomach

is so flat)

these hips easily fit into those

new designer jeans I saw on the catwalk.

these hips do not get attention, or get

commented on

(which is a compliment in itself).

these hips are miniscule.

these hips are miniature.

sometimes, they have been known

to look a little larger when I stop

the gym, so I go mount the

stationary bike and

spin him like a wheel