"About Me"

Everette’s “About me” touched on many funny and serious moments in his young life. I successfully learned much about his mother, grandmother, and family life. I also liked how much insight into his thoughts at the time was given in the stories of the past. I had no idea he ran track, even for Auburn. He had some great specific descriptions such as “Tonka trucks” and the feeling of running track. I enjoyed getting to know a classmate better through this story. However, I had some very serious issues with this piece. First, I had a very tough time getting through the piece because of the serious grammatical errors. It was almost impossible for me to focus on the content with the grammar was so poorly written. Simple things like capitalizing sentences were not implemented. Also, the title threw me off. “About me” is so general and uninteresting. Even the “me” was not capitalized. Honestly, I was turned off to the story before I started reading it. Perhaps Everette could create a more specific and intriguing title. However, it is hard to do this when he has not narrowed down on a specific memory for his memoir. He told a brief auto-biography of his short life thus far, instead of focusing in on a particular striking memory in his past. The story in general is too broad. I think focusing either on his track career or how he felt when his mother left for Desert Storm would make for an interesting piece; these two huge events in his life should not be crammed together in one story. I think the Desert Storm topic could be a great starting point; he could still explain his actions and thought processes then and looking back now his reactions on how it might have affected him or does now.