"Large"

“Large” was a very intimate look at William’s friendship with a boy named Troy, who, despite falling out of touch every now and then, still remained close to William’s heart. I think the strongest characteristic of this memoir is the passion felt by the reader. I could completely feel how much William loved Troy, which is obviously essential in explaining the mark he had on William’s life, and still continues to today. While the title is a little vague for my liking, the opening paragraph is wonderful. The detail given made me feel as though I was looking at the picture the author was when writing this. However, there were mentions of Africa, although this is never explained. I would like to learn more about this because I do not know what furlough means. If it is mentioned in the first paragraph, I feel as though it should be picked up in later parts of the story instead of dropped off. One line struck me as awkward and I kept rereading it to perhaps not feel that way, but I think it needs revising. “…as he parted the sea of seersucker blue with his dark brown haircut.” I could see him parting this sea with his lumbering gait, or his loud steps, not a haircut. “Dark brown haircut” is not jarring enough to explain that this would part people in church. Reiterate how wacky the haircut was, or use a different description. I would have liked to feel more emotion when William explained he cried. He says he “crie[d] for [them].” This line is after talking about how happy he was with Troy being comfortable enough in their friendship to smoke weed in front of him. Why would you cry? If you still want this, explain why you’re crying and exactly what it makes you feel. Overall, a very moving piece, although I’d also like to see more of the interactions between William and Troy, as well as more dialogue, perhaps.