"The Lotus"

“The Lotus” is a short story about a girl named Kira who is stuck in a sticky situation with a taken man. I’ve heard the stories about a girl messing around with a guy; however, Ryan is taken by a girlfriend who lives far away. After wise words from her mother, Kira realizes she needs to give Ryan up and let him go live with his girlfriend. Coincidently, Ryan’s explanation of Kira’s middle name reminds her that she deserves better. She decides to take charge of her life, knowing that friends and family stay while men come and go. I enjoyed the relationship between the three girlfriends. I understand the stubbornness as well as the care that goes into trying to tell a friend she needs to leave a guy. I also like the end of the coffee shop scene because real friends never leave angry, no matter what words were said. The description of the lotus flower was in-depth and helped back the story. Also, the dialogue with Kira’s mother was very realistic and believable. My main problem with the story is the ending. I like that Kira decides to forget about Ryan; however, I wanted a scene where she still answered the phone but told him everything she never was brave enough. Perhaps he would call her saying he chooses her and she turns him down. I felt like the ending was a little too clean. Also, there were some mild grammar problems: not moving a different person speaking to a new line, some left-out articles, etc. However, those are easy fixes. I also would maybe like to see the change in Kira more evidently, as well as her realization and how it affects her friendships. Perhaps some dialogue with her girlfriends or mother would show this. Just some suggestions!